It's Okay... To Let Your 💔 Hold You Back

In this week’s episode I’m going to empower your fear of letting go and tell you why it’s okay to hold on to the past instead of moving on with your heart! That's just a recipe for future heartache. 

We’ve all been there, that moment when our heart is shattered into a million pieces. That searing pain that cuts deep into the depths of your soul that you never knew existed. How all at once your world seems to suddenly stop and lose all meaning. Tragically, there people out there who rashly attempt to right their ship by putting their hearts back together so they can foolishly try to move on only to have it blown up all over again. When the truth is, the best thing you can do is wisely decided to sit back and stare at the broken remnants of your heart lamenting and waiting for your ex to come back and make everything magically better again. Who cares if they’ve already started dating again or maybe they’re engaged or even married? They’ll come back to their senses and return to you in a matter of days, weeks, months, or years. In the mean time you’ll just stay rooted in place, keeping the home fires burning, leading them back to your loving arms in your denial laced belief that your relationship was never flawed. That’s how you heal your heart.

Keep the pain of reality at bay by diving into the escapism of fictional memories of your alternate universe relationship. Spend as much time as you can daydreaming about that romantic, perfectly crafted Hollywood ending when your ex comes back to you. Tread water in denial and block out all the BS and painful facts about the reality of what your relationship was really like. Instead only choose to remember the good things to add to the brilliant gleam of perfection to your revisionist memories. But don’t forget to spend time putting all your energy into willing your ex to change, come back, and reset the status quo of what drove you apart in the first place. And finally stew in the pessimism that out of 7 billion people they were the only one for you and lash out at them for having moved on to someone else by publicly declaring their in fact the one who’s in denial. Finally, raise the bar of expectations for any future relationships so high that it’s impossible for anyone to reach the level of your amazing, funny, successful, caring, compassionate, romantic ex, ensuring that no one else will ever be able to break your heart again.

As I always say and encourage, when things don’t change and your ex doesn’t come back, take all that rage you’ve been suppressing under the heavy weight of not being able to let go, and let it explode on your world. Never sit back and take stock of why things happened they way they did. Avoid looking back and realizing things were never as perfect as you had remembered. Ignore your share of the responsibility for why things ended and refuse to work on those areas to keep you from being a more wholehearted and mature partner. Worst of all don’t allow yourself to express gratitude for the opportunity to have felt the way you did, and more importantly, gratitude for what you now know and understand about your valid needs from your future partner and relationship.

Double down on the cruelty of life rather than the fact that you stopped living and your ex didn’t. Embrace the negative narrative of you not being worthy of love instead of recognizing that it’s time for you to reclaim your own happiness as well. Never see a broken heart as an opportunity to grow and change because growth and change take a lot of work! Who needs that when you can just blame and complain by playing the victim card! Let the sympathy of others feed your limiting beliefs about love and drag it out for as long as you can! Remember, misery loves company so surround yourself with other bitter relationship enthusiasts because there ain’t no party like a broken heart party because a broken heart party don’t stop.

Rob NardecchiaComment