6 Ways Success Is Making Your Life Needlessly Harder

I’m going to share a personal experience from my past. Not too long ago, I spent a great deal of time trying to better myself. As a result, I started to alienate my friends and family because I was always too busy or too tired to spend time complaining and doing nothing with them. One day someone very close to me asked, “Why are you trying to show off?” To me I wasn’t showing off. I was trying to tap into my inner potential in order to unlock more positivity and happiness into my life. That’s when it dawned on me. I wasn’t happy. In fact all that work I was doing trying to be someone that I wasn’t was actually making me miserable. As result I had missed out on watching TV, surfing the net, and eating whatever I wanted. We live in the golden age of leisure and too many of us are making our lives way more complicated than they need to be and as a result we’re letting all the perks of leisure pass us by. Here are some signs that you are also letting life slip by in the name of self-improvement.

1.   You let others convince you that you can achieve your dreams.

This is a great way of seeing who your true friends are and whom you can really trust. Most people don’t want to look like they’re being mean especially when it comes to someone they know. So instead of being honest and sparing you from pain and embarrassment, they choose to encourage you, which is great if you have talent, but talented people already know they’re talented and therefore don’t need encouragement. Essentially, your fake friends would rather see you fail then having them come across as mean. It’s a game of compliment chicken and when you’re blinded by false hope… You will always lose.

2.   You’re constantly trying to be positive.

Positivity is often confused with denial. Think about. How often are you trying to find your “Happy Place” when things get tough? Or you choose to smile instead of telling someone off when they’re clearly being a jerk? I bet it’s a lot. The self-help industry wants us to live in the moment but only on the condition of being positive. What’s that about? Live in the moment but only under these conditions. How’s that being helpful? It’s not. If someone pisses you off, you yell at them. If someone cuts you off, you cut them off. Send a message. Draw a line in the sand. Life is hard enough as it is, with work, kids, and other mundane responsibilities, the last thing you need to worry about is diverting what little energy you have left into being positive. It’s exhausting.  One of the largest drawbacks about being positive all the time is that it’s annoying. No one wants to be around the person that won’t join the complain game when things are negative. Negativity loves company because it’s one of the few things that can bond people together. So turn that smile into a mouthpiece of disdain! Your life will thank you for it.

3.   You let go of “toxic relationships”.

This is a continuation of the first point. There are “experts” that believe you need to remove people from your life who don’t support your dreams and ambitions to better yourself. They claim these toxic people weigh you down with their controlling negativity, resulting in you giving up on your dreams and goals. Well, have you ever thought for a second that maybe these people in your life are trying to help you? That maybe they see your blatantly obvious limitations that you’re foolishly ignoring and they’re merely trying to protect you from your impending and debilitating failure? It’s also important to remember that who are we to know what we truly want? We’re way too close to the situation. That’s why it’s always more important to let other people tell you what you want. They can see the entire picture of who you are and more importantly who you aren’t.

4.   You don’t cut corners.

People love to brag about the “long journey to success” and how this has somehow made them stronger as a result. There’s a reason why people prefer direct flights. They’re quicker. You get to where you want to be faster. How many of you actually like walking all the way through an Ikea? The answer is no one. Finding those shortcuts are game changers not to mention relationship lifesavers. Life is no different. Right now choose a path: the short way to a dream and realizing you’ll fail but you still have the rest of your life to settle admirably into mediocrity. Or the other path, which results in you tolling away for stress filled years only to feel the crushing weight of disappointment of realizing you’ve wasted your life on something you could have never achieved in the first place.

5.   You don’t let failure stop you.

Einstein’s definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again while expecting a different result. People have taken this simple quote and twisted it into meaning you need to constantly change your approach until you’re finally successful. Here’s the deal, what Einstein really meant was if you fail at something just stop. Walk away. Never try it again. Life isn’t challenging you. Dreams aren’t complex puzzles that need to be solved. Failure is life just saying stop it. You’re not talented enough. Move along. But don’t be disappointed you’re not talented enough to be successful. The world needs sheep. Otherwise who would listen to the talented people? You’re a tiny cog in a very important machine. You should be proud of your limited potential and bask the tepid warmth of your mediocrity. 

6.   You’re alienating the people in your life.

Our circles of friends and family are no different than herds in the wild. We socialize amongst them and lean on them for support and protection. Many studies have shown you’re essentially a make up of the people you spend the most time with. That’s why it’s imperative to never go out and do something rash like attempting to better yourself because the ramifications of your choice extend well beyond yourself. Essentially, attaining goals is incredibly selfish. Not only that, but it’s arrogant. Who are you to force the other people in your life to better themselves when they have the wisdom to understand that everything is fine the way it is. If your friends are brave enough to settle why insult their courage with your needless, and dare I say reckless, quest for attention? A society only works when everyone agrees to live within its rules and norms. When someone decides to go outside of them anarchy ensues and the society collapses. In other words, you’re an anarchist by seeking self-improvement. Congratulations on destroying the lives of your friends and family.

The good news is you can start incorporating these tips today and you’ll instantly start noticing the benefits immediately. And when you’re done un-complicating your life, it’s critically important that you share this with everyone you care about. Life is too short to risk and fail! Instead play it safe by living small in your comfort zone, your mediocrity awaits you with open arms                   

As always, remember, friends… Yes. You. Can’t.