5 Ways to Channel Your Inner Trump
At the Yes You Can’t Academy we couldn’t be happier about the sea of change going on in the United States right now. There is a loud and clear national yearning for mediocrity and there’s no greater example of this desire to settle than the meteoric rise of President Donald Trump.
But don’t despair! Donald Trump’s ability to harness his presidential mediocrity is something you too can enjoy! Here are some huge tips you can start using right now to help you tap into the incredible power of your inner Trump.
1. Play the Blame Game
Taking responsibility for something is an invitation for nonstop demands. Like promising everyone at work that you’d fix the lock on the lunchroom door so the people in the office below you would stop stealing everyone’s lunch. But then you wisely decided not to fix it because you realized how hard that would be and now everyone is being a baby about it.
Now you’re stuck with two choices:
You can step up and acknowledge things didn’t work out as you had planned. But you still intend on seeing it through by doubling down your efforts and asking others for help on finding a better solution.
Or
You can put your plaster mistake on everyone else because no one offered to help you out. Even though you told everyone you didn’t need help.
One choice requires a lot of work. The other is simply pointing the finger and walking way. That’s why it’s important to always surround yourself with others who can take the blame for you. Whether it’s Chuck in accounting, the person you took over for, or immigrants, always make sure you have someone nearby to push into the spotlight of blame.
2. Never Admit You’re Wrong
This is a continuation of the first tip. Admitting you’re wrong means you’re going to have to change something and change takes A LOT of time and effort. Do you really want to have to look in the mirror and spend wasteful hours, weeks, months, or years, trying to change who you currently are or fix something you screwed up? Instead just bathe yourself in the loving warmth of denial and relax. Have you ever heard Trump admit that he’s wrong? Of course not! He’s omnipotent and if anyone says otherwise it’s clearly fake news.
See how easy that was?
3. Belittle Others
One of the greatest ways to ensure your life is full of mediocrity is to belittle everyone around you who is trying to better themselves. Liberal hippies call this is bullying but President Trump would counter he’s protecting America from unfair deals. Whether it’s your friend wanting to accomplish their dream and you fear their going to inspire you to change or other countries trying to stop global warming at the expense of an already dying finite resource based industry, never sacrifice the status quo of your life in the blind hope a better future.
4. Refuse to Listen
If someone does or says something that you don’t like, just leave. It doesn’t matter if they’re right or not. It’s your life and you should have the right to live it consequence free, even if your actions have direct consequences on other people, a nation, or an entire planet.
The mainstream media is constantly asking President Trump unfair questions about things he actually said. Does the President foolishly hold a press conference to clear the air? No! He correctly goes to Twitter where he’s always right. Even when he was on TV, his famous line of “you’re fired”, is an incredibly powerful lesson on how to live. If someone tries to point out that you’re clearly in the wrong or behaving in a negative manner just metaphorically fire them from you life.
Boom. Problem solved.
5. Undermine Your Competition
The world is full of people who want what you want. So instead of wasting time and energy trying to out perform them with your work ethic and determination why not just undermine them? Call out an area of unfounded concern about the other person in a friendly but suspicious manner.
For instance, your co-worker Hillary shouldn’t get the promotion over you because she might have a drinking problem. Does Hillary actually have a drinking problem? Who cares? It’s not important. But that doesn’t mean people shouldn’t look into Hillary further to make sure she doesn’t have one, and to be fair, Hillary should have to prove she doesn’t have a drinking problem. Especially if she has nothing to hide, which she clearly does, otherwise why is everyone talking about her drinking problem?
Congratulations on your new promotion!
By embracing these powerful tips to connect to your inner Trump, together, we can help make mediocrity great again!
And remember, my friends... Yes. You. Can't!