4 Habits to Help You Avoid Chasing Your Dreams

In this week’s episode, I’m going to help break you free from the negative pressures of creating your own happiness and arm you with 4 habits to help you avoid chasing your dreams!

Look around you. Literally. Look around you, right now as you listen. If you’re in a coffee shop, or on a bus, or even alone looking in the mirror, chances are you’re staring at someone trying to create their own happiness by foolishly chasing their dreams. But be warned; it’s a slippery slope to disappointment. Sure staring at your dreams and thinking they’re just out of reach might sound alluring but in truth, it's like looking at a map of the world and thinking New York and Sydney are next door neighbours, which reminds me… Never travel or explore. But we’ll save that for another podcast.  

Thankfully though, I’m going to share with you four crucial habits to help you keep your dreams locked away safe and sound so you can focus on more important things like trying to survive the grind of self-perceived unchangeable life. Let’s begin, shall we? 

1.    Social Media

Perception is the key to making it look like you have the perfect life without having to try. That’s why social media is so popular! It’s so easy to give the impression you’re being proactive in pursuing your goals, when in fact you’re just liking things and living vicariously through others, hoping for that unicorn post to shortcut you to the top. All you need is a simple pic of your laptop, a cappuccino, and the right filter, and everyone will think your well on your way to being a successful writer! Or a shot of you on a cool piece of furniture (that you don’t own), in yoga pants, with the “#livelovelaugh” will have everyone thinking you’re a motivational influencer! It doesn’t matter if you’ve started or not! By creating the perception of you already being successful lets, everyone believe you are, without you ever needing to do a thing. 

2. Binge Watching

Look you need to seem interesting, and that means being up to date on all the movies and shows on Netflix, HBO, Hulu, Amazon Prime, or whatever. Never be the last one to the binge party. Binging also includes eating, sleeping, drinking, daydreaming, and pretty much anything that helps you escape the crushing reality of your changeable life. 

Netflix is fantastic for this because they’re continually launching new original content. It’s the binge-watching lottery. Is it good? Who knows? Binge now on the off chance it is so you can brag you were the first to watch in your social circles. Then you’ll become the go-to pop culture expert, which then justifies you spending countless hours watching crap rather than doing something productive like working towards quitting the job you hate.  There’s no rhyme or reason to the release dates. Every time you log in, there’s a ton of new content! And just searching through Netflix can eat up a good hour and you still have no idea what to watch, but you wisely keep scrolling because going to the gym, writing that new chapter, asking someone out, or finishing your report that could lead to a promotion, which is a way bigger waste of time.

3. Gossip

There is no better way to feel better about not trying than to undermine and stab someone else in the back for their success! Undermining someone else is an easy and effective way to take the spotlight off why you’re not actively trying to achieve your own dreams and goals while sabotaging someone else’s. Fact. When you gossip first, you control the narrative, which is power. 

You’re made up of the five people you spend the most time with. If those people are go-getters, then there’s a solid chance you’ll fall victim to the allure of creating your own happiness, and that leads you down the dark, lonely road of “trying”. Instead, sabotage and undermine those around to ensure everyone stays safe and sound in your mediocrity herd. Be the mediocrity alpha and never worry about an inspiration pandemic again. 

4. Complaining aka “Play the Victim Card!”

This pairs beautifully with the gossiping to create a one-two combo of mediocrity! Lament how unfair life is. Complaining brings people together! Showing your talents and actualizing your dreams makes you a bragger. And no one likes a bragger. No one. Unless you’re bragging about how crappy your life is. 
Feel insecure about what people have and you don’t, instead of saying, “I can do it too!” Ignore the fact that in reality, the biggest obstacle in our lives is our self. 

The victim card is instant. Trying takes forever. Do the leisure math… Play the victim card, relax, and wait for enabling sympathy. Or foolishly double down on your potential and work for weeks, months, and years, trying to do something that won’t end up looking how you envisioned it. 

Why won’t it? Well, as I explained in last week’s episode, the so-called road to success is never a direct path. There are swerves and cliffs that you will fall off of, flinging you off course so when you do reach your destination, if you’re not already emotionally dead inside from the ordeal, will have inadvertently changed. 

Sometimes that means your dream job ends up being something completely different then what you thought you’d enjoy. The person you end up with is not who you imagined you were meant to be with. Your fitness goals go from CrossFit to loving marathons instead. The point is when you add reality to your dream it often mutates itself into something different, thereby forcing you to realize your original dream was nothing more than a lie. Never let your dreams betray your trust by exposing your real inner truth through trying.  

Remember, a goal is a drunk wish. 

Rob NardecchiaComment