3 Reasons Why Listening is the Worst

In this week's episode, I'm going to expose the dark dirty secrets of communication and show you why listening is the worst! You're welcome in advance. 

How many times have you been stuck listening to someone go on and on about something when they’re clearly wrong or really dull? I bet it’s daily, if not hourly. Sadly, the world is full of people who think they know everything, when in fact they don’t, unlike you of course.

Who has time to stop and listen to what someone else is saying? That time is better used to arm yourself with more rebuttals or ways to out brag their smug wrong faces and never create a bridge of understanding, or worse of all, let them open up about their problems judgement free.

It’s quite easy to fall into the trap of listening without realizing how dangerous it actually is. So, here are three reasons why you should always avoid listening.

1.    Listening makes you weak

Listening is the job of the person you’re talking to, it’s not your job. Why do you think I have a podcast? So I can speak without having to listen to any of you.

If you’re not the loudest one, then you’re not the one driving the conversation. And if you’re not driving the conversation, you’re stuck talking about what the other person wants, which is probably about something stupid and doesn’t directly involve you. Therefore if you’ve been labelled as a “great listener”, know that it isn’t a compliment. It actually means you’re a wuss, because you’re so unsure about everything you need to listen to other people to get the whole story, or you value the opinions of others, or you’re just caring. #barf

Volume equals knowledge. You want to win an argument or decide what restaurant to go to? Volume. The louder you are, the more powerful and intellectual you seem, and the more likely the other person will bow before your astute blaring wisdom.

Even harmlessly listening to a friend can veer off the rails. Respecting your friend’s wrong thoughts and feelings on what movie to watch, who they should date, or why they want to exercise, means you could get dragged into one of their stupid suggestions and then next thing you know you’re in a spin class at 6am instead of being in bed.

2.    Listening leads to failure

This leads to the previous point about volume. If you pause to reflect on what the other person is saying you’re leaving yourself open to having your mind changed.

Information is dangerous because that means you’re learning something and when you learn something it makes you rethink things, and rethinking things can lead to change, and as we all know, change leads to failure and disappointment.

The problem with listening is you can’t use your opinions as facts because you’re going to be forced to listen to evidence and information that are contrary to your point of view. That means you’ll have to realize you were wrong about something or someone. Who likes admitting they’re wrong? Even worse, being wrong can lead to apologizing. Never. Ever. Ever. Put yourself in a situation where you have to apologize.

Listening doesn’t have to be with someone else either. Listening to yourself is one of the most dangerous things you can do. Listening to your gut or heart can lead to devastating consequences. Following the advice of your gut is like following the whims of your crazy friend that’s always getting you into trouble. Chasing your dreams or falling in love may seem like a great idea at the time but we all know how both of those end up; drenched in regret. When it comes to listening to your gut, you’re probably just hungry so order an extra large pizza and mute that internal chatter with some good old-fashioned emotional eating.

3.    Listening makes you dependable

One of the worst things about listening is that people will come to you with their pointless problems. You don’t want that stink on you. That is hard to wash off. Being the dependable friend, family member, or co-worker means patiently sitting and listening to people you care about open up about what’s going on in their lives. Who needs that? Why is their happiness your concern? They’re the ones responsible for making you happy by listening to your problems!

Listening leads to empathy and empathy turns you into a walking doormat, where everyone in your life can show up and verbally wipe their dirty problems on you. You’ll become their emotional sponge cleaning up their messes and helping them find solutions. In turn, they become happier and start making positive changes in their lives. Then what? You're surrounded by people drunk on inspiration and hope, all striving to create their own happiness, which in turn cascades into your life, forcing you to do the same, all because you decided to listen. Bravo on screwing your life over.

Remember, how can someone get a point in or change the topic if you can’t hear them? Bingo. Never let someone else get a word in edgewise. It doesn’t matter if it’s a stranger, your boss, or mom, because who doesn’t like the sound of their own voice? Why would you deny your friends, family, world, and more importantly, you, the opportunity to bask in the warmth and enlightenment of your yell hole? Exactly, so turn your questions into rhetorical questions and make your soapbox your forwarding address!

However, if there’s one thing you must never stop listening to it’s this podcast! So please subscribe, rate, and or leave a review! Also, share the wisdom with others in your life foolishly trying to better themselves. The power of your mediocrity is already inside of you, just yearning for you to settle in the incredible power of your comfort zone!

Rob NardecchiaComment