Trump and Trudeau Set to Swap Problems

QUEBEC, CANADA (The Incorrect Broadcast) - Breaking news out of the G7 Summit. President Trump and Prime Minister Trudeau have re-engaged in NAFTA talks with a possible California for Ontario and a province to be named later deal as the centrepiece of the new agreement.

The departure of California would be welcomed news for Trump as the state has been a longstanding thorn in his side. Meanwhile Ontario is fresh off electing populist Doug Ford as premier who’s the brother of Rob Ford, the former crack smoking mayor of Toronto. Much like California for Trump, Ford’s election victory poses a significant problem for Trudeau and his progressive aspirations.

Government officials from both sides are being quiet on the deal citing the two countries are merely in the exploration stage of talks. Analysts however see this as a possible boon for both nations and could help ease relations, which have been testy as of late.

Howard Berger from the Institute of Alternative Research based out of Washington D.C. sees the possible exchange as such; “The US is essentially giving up sanctuary cities, liberal hippies, and Hollywood elites for Ontario’s political catch phrase gullibility, hockey players, and its knee jerk populist views.”

Although no official word yet on which other Canadian province will be included in the deal, there has been unconfirmed reports saying the US was interested in Alberta. However Canada had to decline saying China told Trudeau he wasn’t allowed to. Leading other experts to point to New Brunswick on Canada’s Atlantic coast as the frontrunner. New Brunswick often regarded as the “Mississippi of Canada” and “Nova Scotia’s driveway” would be a welcomed addition for Trump to help curb Democrat influence in New England. As for Canada, the departure of New Brunswick would go widely unnoticed.

Rob NardecchiaComment