Pot Statistics Go Up In Smoke
NEW YORK (The Incorrect Broadcast) - In a recent independent study on the possible legalization of marijuana, 78% of peopled polled agreed that there should be a conversation on the hot button topic. While 65% of the 78% of respondents had admitted to trying marijuana at least once, 53% of the 65% of the 78% weren’t sure if it should be legalized. However 23% of the 65% felt the 22% who disagreed that there should be a conversation are in fact hiding something. The 22% felt that 99% of the 23% were being preachy, while 100% of the 23% felt they were in the 1% who were not being preachy. A staggering 83% of the 22% who believed no conversation is needed, thought marijuana use was the leading cause of Hip Hop and Veganism, while the other 17% were actually high at the time and didn't understand the question.
Meanwhile 98% of the 13% of the original 78% who stated they had never tried marijuana felt 25% of the 53%, who had, were being 100% posers. The 25% of the 53% who were regarded as being posers by the 13% of the 78% argued 110% that the 13% were 200% douche. Oddly enough 89% of the 13% who were labeled as 200% douche were fine with that assessment while the other 11% of the 13% told the 25% of the 53% of the 78% to "Suck it."
When reached for a further explanation of the study's findings, the co-authors, Dr. Mary Jane Cheeba and Dr. Jim James Takkouri defended the research by stating, "Nachos."