Rob works at his computer. He’s trying to concentrate but can’t. He looks down a sees Bruce burning a hole in him.
Bruce stares intently at Rob.
Rob: You good?
Bruce: Pfft, yeah.
Rob: You sure?
Bruce: Um, yeah, mom.
Rob tries to go back to work, Bruce continues to stare, Rob stops abruptly.
Rob: You’ve just been staring at me for five minutes. It’s weirding me out.
Bruce: You’re weirding yourself out.
Rob: Stop it. What’s your deal?
Bruce: You’re in my chair.
Rob: Your chair? I’ve never seen you in this chair before.
Bruce: Well maybe if you were home more often…
Rob: Oh, we’re not doing this again! If you want to get a job and work, by all means, go for it!
Bruce: You could at least take me with you.
Rob: Is the chair the issue or is it your never ceasing abandonment issues?
Bruce: Oh, that’s rich from the commitment-a-phobe!
Rob: I’ve committed myself to your aggravating ass, haven’t I?
Bruce: No one likes you.
Rob: Why do you always go straight to the deep cuts?
Bruce: Your pain feeds my abandoned soul.
Rob: I don’t have time for your games.
Bruce: You use to have time for me.
Rob: For God’s sake, pick a lane! Is it the abandonment or chair?
Bruce: The chair.
Rob: Fine. Take it.
Rob gets up and moves to another spot.
Bruce: Now it’s empty just like my soul.
Rob starts packing his computer up.
Rob: Okay. I’m done. If you’re going be this way I’m just going to go to a coffee shop. Satisfied? Now you can sit in the chair alone. It’s a win/win for your emotional doggy baggage.
Bruce: Wow, aren’t we moody.
Bruce watches Rob leave in frustration.
Bruce jumps off the chair and over to the couch. His paw hits the remote, and the TV pops on.
Bruce: I’m a busy dog, Goddammit.
Bruce lavishly stretches out on the couch and sighs contently as Dr Phil begins …