10 Toxic Beliefs About Success You Need to Forget

The world is full of opinions on how to be “successful” and the truth is the overwhelming majority of them are nothing more than falsehoods and snake oil. The self-help industry has made millions hoodwinking people into thinking success is something everyone can enjoy.

The worst of these pious self-help gypsies are the ones who infiltrate the minds of the masses with the so-called “keys to success”. These lies, which they’ve cleverly described as “habits”, are pitfalls to failure, disappointment, and in some cases death. These habits are numerous and can be found in every facet of our lives, infecting society with a virus called false hope.

I’ve compiled ten of the most popular pitfalls for success that you MUST avoid. Your life could very well depend on it.

1.   Passion will equal money

This is a first class ticket to poverty-ville, unless you already are poor and in that case, that’s okay, in fact congratulations on not allowing yourself to be dragged into the labyrinth of wealth. The perception here is if you have a passion for something and you put in the time, you will be rewarded with not only being paid to do what you love, but you’ll make a lot of money doing it in the process. However, the truth is it doesn’t matter what your passion is because you’re probably not that good at it anyway otherwise you’d already be rich doing it. Despite what your friends, family or even strangers say about your talent the reality is people would rather be nice than honest.

2.   Believing you can succeed

There’s no faster way to feel crushing disappointment than believing you can do something. Remember back in 2008, when Obama tricked America with his brilliantly played “Yes We Can” campaign? Remember what happened after he was elected? A crippling global recession. Was that Obama’s fault? Probably. But some of that blame also falls on all the Americans who voted for Obama thinking they too could accomplish great things. So, the next time you think you can accomplish something great, ask yourself “Is it really worth the global risk?”

3.   Setting & reviewing goals

What’s the point of reminding yourself daily about the things that you’re not going to do? It seems like a list of goals is no different than a list of nagging and who wants to nag themselves? The point of nagging someone is so you don’t have to do what you’ve already guilted them into doing. Say it’s the season finale of your favourite show but you can’t watch it because you have a goal to lose 5 pounds and your now stuck on a crappy treadmill, in a packed gym. Sure you could PVR the episode but you’ll never get around to watching with Zumba classes, shopping for organic coconut oil, and being generally exhausted and miserable. That sure doesn’t sound successful to me.

4.   Multitasking is wrong

Focus is one of the four Horsemen of the motivational self-help world. Why focus on just one thing? Why not have a bunch of things on go? At least having a lot on the go makes you sound way more interesting than just one thing. Or even better, have nothing going on and be refreshingly honest in your responsible desire to settle in life.

5.   Getting up early

Who likes being a morning person? No one, that’s who, and if you claim to be one you’re a liar. Sleep is amazing. It also allows us to dream, which is one of the best ways of enjoying the benefits of escapism. But the worst of the early morning disciples are those who preach the merits of early morning meditation, which makes absolutely no sense, who wants to wake up early only to fall asleep sitting up? Why not just sleep longer? Let’s be clear, there’s nothing Zen about exhaustion.

6.   Eating healthy

Don’t get me wrong; there is an inherent benefit of eating a balanced diet. But let’s keep it in perspective. Running around trying to find organic free-range vegan bologna substitute and avoiding things with sugar in it is a full time job. Sure, there are a lot of chemicals and preservatives in today’s food but there are also over 7 billion people on this planet. Not everything can be all natural. Also, in nature the things that are poisonous taste awful, so it’s reasonable to assume then that anything we choose to eat from a grocery store that tastes delicious isn’t poisonous. So enjoy yourself. No one on their deathbed has ever said; “I wish I had eaten more broccoli.”

7.   Living in the moment

Being in the moment is boring. Who wants to bask in the moment of being stuck in traffic, sitting in a dentist’s chair, or being yelled at by your boss? Thanks to technology we can escape the boredom and hassles of reality by diving into our phones! Why bathe in the awkward conversation of a first date when you can instead pull out your phone and continue the illusion of the life you want people to really think you have on social media? And since you’re probably on your phone why don’t you like me on Facebook (insert link) and follow me on Instagram at (insert link) and Twitter?

8.   Express gratitude

I once heard a wise man say; “You can’t polish a turd.” That’s essentially what gratitude tries to do. Positive people preach the merits of gratitude as an essential habit as you walk the road to success. But what does gratitude really do? Does it make your dream come true? No, all gratitude does is merely justify your self-imposed struggle and hardship by distracting you. “I’m grateful to have food.” Well who isn’t? How does that equal being a millionaire? The best way to express gratitude is to be “grateful” that you refuse to put yourself through the torture of bettering yourself.

9.   Surrounding yourself with like-minded people

You know what that’s called? A cult. It’s essentially the blind leading the blind, people with the same-shared problem that live in denial as they continue on their collective self-destructive paths. These kinds of peer groups are enablers. They’re pushers of the highly addictive drug known as “potential”. The potential to achieve things, the potential in all of us to succeed, the potential of tomorrow, and so on and so on. It’s all a mind trap and if you’ve surrounded yourself with like-minded people then you’ll have no one to bring you back to reality, which leads us to…

10.        Avoid Negativity

Positivity is blind to reality. That’s why it’s important that you either tap into your own negativity or ensure there are people in your life who are skilled at it. Negative people will help tether you to reality so that you can’t lose perspective by hopelessly trying to better your life. As an added bonus, negative people will make you feel better about yourself because you don’t have half the baggage and problems that they do. Why work on yourself when you can just stand beside Negative Nancy? It’s like parking your 1996 Honda Civic beside a rusty tricycle.

Remember, there are many other so-called habits lurking out there that can lead to dire consequences. That’s why it’s always best to inform yourself as much as possible to avoid these deceptive trappings. Which is why it’s imperative that you subscribe to my website so you can get the tools you need to live a truly mediocre life. The key to happiness is acknowledging your limitations and embracing the power of mediocrity! Why try when you don’t need to? Life is for the living

And remember, friends… Yes. You. Can’t.